Troy and I bought a small beautiful home before starting a family in April 2006. We raised our three babies in it, and as they grew, we quickly grew out of the space too. My heart longed for a bigger place to entertain and have our children's friends over comfortably. I have two teenagers, and having teenagers over requires space (all the parents of teens said, "amen!")
As far back as October of 2016, I have prayers journaled about upgrading to a new home. But my heart longed for an upgrade longer than my journals prove.
In September 2017, we put an offer on what I thought was my dream home. It checked all the boxes. My dreams were finally coming true, or so I thought. Sadly, as a couple, Troy and I were not ready for this purchase. It wasn't financially either; it was spiritually and emotionally. The deal fell through, and my heart was crushed.
I never stopped dreaming, hoping, and praying for something perfect. But I will be honest. I got anxious while waiting. Did God hear my prayers? Why wasn't He answering?
Wait on God, that's not something I'm good at. How about you?
Fast forward to October of 2021, we lost Papa B, my dear precious father-in-law. They say grief has an annoying tendency to magnify where you are operating in unhealthy ways.
Let's say the grief felt like a spotlight shining on the areas of ourselves that were not healthy. Unhealthy living inevitability causes conflict, and we had significant conflicts brewing in our marriage. We got serious about those areas and sought couples counseling.
After major self-reflection and help from wise counsel, I determined I had a major misconception about what it meant to be a submissive wife. I was not fully bringing my God-given gifts and talents into the marriage. That misconception alone left Troy with the unfair expectation to cover our marriage in areas God had not gifted him and was robbing our relationship of its greatest potential.
Troy unpacked that he was not moving forward with making important family decisions because fear robbed him of the peace he should have been leaning into. His fear led to indecisiveness which left me feeling unstable and hopeless.
I worked on me, and he worked on him, and our marriage got stronger.
Problems get better once the root of the problem is identified and both parties work towards a resolution.
We got healthier spiritually and emotionally after that marriage setback. And guess what? The door to our dream home opened just as we closed the door on that conflict.
I thought the home we didn't get back in 2017 was my dream. It turns out the one God had in store for us was so much better.
There is even a lake in our backyard that has a killer sunset!
If you are waiting on God for something, trust His timing. Be patient. It's worth the wait. You might be waiting because God is working on you.
"Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think."
Ephesians 3:20 NLT
Because God was working on our marriage, we are now healthier and more equipped to handle the blessing of our new home. For that, I'm so thankful God did not say yes to my prayers when I first started praying.
Father knows best; listen and trust your Father.
Here are a few more verses to help you with waiting on God:
5 I wait for the Lord, my soul waits,
and in his word I hope; 6
my soul waits for the Lord…
"Be still, and know that I am God
"The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him." (ESV)
"But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint." (ESV)
Let me pray for your marriage
Father, thank you for the gift of marriage. It is a beautiful picture of the relationship between you and your people. Please help us be humble in our marriages and do the hard work. Teach us to respect and honor the holy union of marriage. Give us the strength and courage to grow, preserve and draw near to you. In Jesus' name, we pray, amen.
If you're ready to get to the root of the problem and start working in the waiting, I want to equip you with a resource that will be beneficial as you start this year. I looked up the word fear in The New Strong's Expanded Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible, and there are 404 references of the word found in the KJV. I think it's safe to say that there are a lot of reminders calling God's people not to be afraid. The goal isn't to cultivate a life free of fear; such a life doesn't exist. It's to learn how to fear less.
On January 19th, we are gathering at Not Jaded Boutique for Nourish with Fearless. This intimate event will allow us to enjoy tea tasting and treats while learning how the Word of God can help us to grow and understand His promises in your waiting moments. Register for Nourish here.