The Stage Trap

What I’m about to share with you is a potential chapter in my next book. When and how this book comes together is in the Lord’s hands, but I felt compelled to share it with you now. I named this chapter, “Stage Trap”

Here it goes...

I had booked a prominent speaker, a local celebrity, for one of our Fearless events. We marketed the event like crazy and made sure to host it at a mega church, expecting a big turnout. Our ministry was gaining traction in the city. Fear and anxiety were at epidemic levels, and we were the fresh, relatable ministry talking about them openly. I took pride in the fact that people would come to hear about fear and anxiety and leave knowing more about Jesus.

We were reaching people who didn’t “do church” but were willing to step into a Fearless meeting. The stories of transformation and the encouragement from attendees fueled me to keep going. Then something happened that I wasn’t expecting. I felt the Lord ask me not to take the stage at this event. I ran it by my team. They thought it was strange but went along with it. Then I mentioned it to a friend who also led large ministry events. I’ll never forget her response.

"Christy, you’re the face of Fearless. That doesn’t seem wise. People want to see you. You should definitely get up there. I would really pray about whether you heard that correctly."

By this point, I had been walking with the Lord for six years but had only been doing public ministry for a little over a year. So, I compromised. Instead of standing on stage, I played a video of myself introducing the event and sharing about Fearless. I convinced myself that I was still being obedient.

When the Numbers Start to Matter

Looking back, I remember a much smaller Fearless meeting where I stared out the window at a nearly empty parking lot. Less than twenty people had shown up. I felt the weight of performance, the pressure to bring in the numbers, to be influential. Twenty-five people in a room that could hold hundreds felt embarrassing. I felt like a failure. It made me want to quit. But in that moment, I heard God whisper to my spirit.

"As long as this is about numbers for you, Christy, you can’t really help people out of fear and anxiety." I knew it was true. But I also wanted people to show up. I wanted to help them and have a full room.

That’s how the pull starts. It’s not sudden. It sneaks up on you, little by little. You start justifying small compromises, and before you know it, you feel responsible for filling seats instead of shepherding souls.

A Packed Room, A Heavy Heart

Now, back to the big event. The one where I felt the Lord asking me not to take the stage. The worship center held 1,200 people, and it was packed.

(I found actual images from the event)

A dear friend from high school showed up, and I rushed over to greet her.

"Hey girl, I didn’t know you were coming! I’m so glad to see you!"

She gave me a smirk and said, "Christy, I had no idea you were putting on a concert. They practically needed parking attendants just to get me in here. I thought I’d just walk in and see you, but I didn’t expect it to be this big. I might not have even had the chance to talk to you."

Something about her words unsettled me. Part of me felt excited. The event was a success.

(I found actual images from the event, Jan 2018)

But as I looked out over the sea of anxious, hurting people, another part of me wondered how we would ever be able to walk alongside all of them. That was the moment when the tension between the mental health crisis and the discipleship crisis took root in me.

A Soul Check

Have you ever gone to a faith event hoping to be encouraged, only to leave feeling lonely because you knew the speaker wasn’t coming home with you to keep coaching you?

Have you ever sat in church, surrounded by people, yet felt completely unseen?

Have you ever felt like just another face in a crowd, keeping your struggles hidden because being real felt too risky?

Have you ever treated church like a weekly boost, listening to a good message but never really applying it, or a check box you just need to complete?

Have you ever longed for real connection in your faith community but held back because talking about your stress and anxiety felt too awkward?

Are you a church leader, volunteer, or staff member who knows that large Sunday crowds are better for business than for building true disciples?

Are you exhausted from the demands of ministry, caught in a system that keeps pulling you in, unable to find a way out?

These aren’t random questions. They are soul checks. Because when we start measuring success by numbers and production instead of by relationships and transformation, we create an emptiness in ourselves and in others. And the only thing that can fill that void is sitting down at tables, not standing on stages.

Jesus and the Stage Trap

Jesus spoke to crowds. He preached to thousands. But His greatest impact wasn’t in a mass gathering. It was in personal relationships. His legacy wasn’t built on big events. It was built on discipleship. Yet, modern ministry often prioritizes performance over presence, content over connection. But people aren’t craving better production. They are craving personal relationships. And when they find them, their lives are changed.

Inspecting the Fruit

If discipleship changes everything, what does that actually look like? (This is the part I will write more about hopefully in a future book) But before we move on, I need to be honest with you. I had to come face to face with my own love for the spotlight. The deeper I got into the vortex, the harder it became to separate my identity from my platform, my influence, and my performance.

Instead of focusing on discipleship and serving, I found myself focused on staying relevant and visible. And yet, in the world’s eyes, I had just pulled off one of the most successful ministry events my community had seen in a long time. God must be blessing it, right? Because healthy things grow. But when I inspected the fruit, I saw what was missing. True discipleship.

The truth is, I believe the mental health crisis could be radically different and greatly improved if we focused on true discipleship—the kind Jesus modeled. (That's why retreats are such an important part of our ministry now. This was from our most recent retreat a few weeks ago)

I've been on a long journey of learning what that really means. The event I’m sharing in this email took place in January 2018 and marked the beginning of that journey.

You know what the result of living out true discipleship has been for me and others? More peace, less fear and anxiety.

I hope you’ll continue to walk this journey with me. I’m going to focus in on why discipleship has the power to change the mental health landscape. 

Are you in on learning more about this? Shoot me an email back: Christy@fearlessunite.com

Let's learn and grow together, friend. Love,