The Gift of Marriage

I remember the day I was out of my mind with panic and anxiety during my nervous breakdown, and for the very first time in our marriage, we prayed intentionally together. Yes, you read that right. For the first time, we prayed together.

Up until that point, I was what you’d call a CEO Christian—Christmas and Easter only. So the idea of praying, much less praying with my husband, felt totally foreign.

For my unmarried friends, I believe this article is still worth the read, so hang with me if you want to. There’s a lot to glean here.

Jesus explains marriage as a reflection of Him and His love for the Church. It’s a living, breathing picture of His covenant, grace, and sacrificial love in action. Marriage isn’t just a contract. It’s a spiritual union designed to display the Gospel. If you want to dig in more, check out these Scriptures: Ephesians 5:22–33, Genesis 2:24, 1 Peter 3:7, and Matthew 19:4–6.

Marriage is under attack. I believe it’s under attack because when it’s submitted to Jesus as the firm foundation, it’s an unstoppable force.

Troy and I’s individual gifts are nothing compared to what happens when we come together as one.

We parent better.We show up together better as co-workers, ministers, teachers.Honestly, our whole life is just better when we show up together.

If you’re called to a life of singleness, I honor you. That is a beautiful and powerful calling. But for those who are called to marriage, you are missing out if you spend your energy demonizing your spouse. The real enemy of your marriage isn’t your husband or wife. It’s Satan himself.

If you find yourself in an unhappy marriage (not abusive—if you’re in a dangerous or toxic situation, please get help. I’m not talking about that here), but just a faithless, dry, hopeless kind of marriage, then what would it look like to commit to praying for your spouse for the next 30 days? Just start there. And while you’re doing that, work on yourself too. Therapy, a mentor, journaling with God—whatever it looks like, grow toward healing.

And for those of you in an “OK” marriage—nothing’s terribly wrong, but you’re just kind of surviving—here’s my challenge to you. Start praying together every day. Yes, it feels awkward at first, but I promise the awkwardness is worth it. The peace, the strength, the spiritual intimacy that comes from it is powerful.

Don’t know how to start? Try the popcorn prayer.

How to Do a Popcorn Prayer:

This is super simple and a great way to ease into praying together. Each person takes a turn sharing one thing they need prayer for. It can be something practical, emotional, spiritual, or anything weighing on their heart. After that, the other person prays specifically for that one request—short, honest, and to the point. Then you switch.

Here’s an example:

You: “I’m feeling really overwhelmed at work and don’t feel like I’m doing enough.

”Your spouse: “God, I lift up my spouse to You. Calm the overwhelm. Remind them that their worth is not in their performance but in You. Give them clarity and peace this week. Amen.

”Your spouse: “I’ve been feeling really distant from God lately. I want to feel close to Him again.”

You: “Lord, draw them near. Remove the distractions and remind them that You’re always close. Spark that connection again and bring comfort in the quiet. Amen.”

You don’t need perfect words. You just need willing hearts. This isn’t about performance—it’s about connection. Over time, you’ll build spiritual intimacy that becomes a rock in your relationship.

Let me end with this.Marriage is a gift.It’s not always easy. It takes work. It takes humility. It takes grace.But it’s worth fighting for.

Whether you're in the trenches or on the mountaintop, know this. God designed marriage to reflect His love, and when He’s at the center, it can be one of the most powerful forces for good in your life. Keep showing up. Keep praying. Keep fighting for it. The gift is worth it.