The Cry for Co-laboring

The words said to me by a pastor, “It’s not like (fill in the name of the church) is archaic and we don’t let women do anything,” still ring in my ears with righteous anger.

Righteous anger is holy when it is dealt with appropriately.

Queen Esther had righteous anger for her people (Esther 4:13–17). Jesus had righteous anger for His people (Mark 11:15–17; John 2:13–17).

Righteous, holy anger brings change where change is often not welcomed.

That comment was made to me after my husband and I tried to share how we felt women’s voices were being oppressed under their leadership. To put this in perspective, this was a conversation I had been trying to have for years with their leadership without any movement. This particular meeting was the final one.

Was it true that women could read the Bible, pray, make announcements, and sing from the platform? Yes. Was it true that there were women on staff and even in leadership positions? Yes.

Was it also true that there was a glass ceiling under their leadership that prohibited women from being in important decision-making areas that only men could occupy? Yes.

Was it also true that women could do anything virtually but preach a message from the Sunday morning platform? Yes, that is also true.

So, that comment from that pastor was trying to gaslight me into rethinking my position. To be grateful that this church was not as bad as other churches that limit women to no leadership at all, allowing them only to speak to women and children.

I have no ill will towards that pastor, and I truly believe he had no idea how painful his comment was. Yet, there lies the problem. Men do not have to think about how the holding back of women who feel called by God to use their giftings creates deep injustice and spiritual harm. It not only silences women but also robs the church of the fullness of God’s voice through them.

I am simply not satisfied with anything less than what I believe is the heart of God for His people.

Women are the other half of the image of God (Genesis 1:27).

God designed us uniquely different yet beautifully equal in value and worth.

As I reread the story of Queen Esther this morning, I was extremely saddened at the history of how women were treated. Queen Esther starts with the story of another queen named Vashti, who refused to be summoned to a group of drunk men, including the king, who wanted to objectify her for her beauty and make her a source of entertainment. Yuck!

I am proud of Queen Vashti for saying, “No thank you, I will not be subject to that type of nonsense.” (That’s my interpretation—go read it for yourself in Esther 1:10–12.) But it cost her her queenship. This is the whole reason why the search for a new queen took place, and Esther got the final role. But even what Esther had to endure—“pleasing the king” to get there in the process—has my stomach in knots.

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A Brief History of How Women Were Treated

• Ancient Societies – Women were often seen as property of fathers or husbands, with little to no legal rights.

• Classical Greece & Rome – Women were excluded from politics, education, and public life; marriages were arranged for family benefit.

• Middle Ages (Europe) – Women’s roles were restricted to domestic life; many accused of witchcraft faced torture and execution.

• Feudal & Religious Systems – Women could not inherit equally; male-dominated interpretations of religion reinforced subservience.

• Early Modern Era – Education and professions were almost completely closed to women; they were legally dependent on male guardians.

• Colonial & Slavery Periods – Enslaved women endured both forced labor and sexual exploitation, doubly oppressed by race and gender.

• Industrial Revolution – Women worked long hours in dangerous factory jobs for a fraction of men’s wages.

• 19th Century – Women were denied the right to vote, own property independently, or access higher education in most countries.

• Early 20th Century – Suffrage was won in some nations, but women still faced workplace discrimination, limited reproductive rights, and rigid gender roles.

• Modern Times – Despite progress, women still face wage gaps, sexual harassment, violence, limited leadership representation, and systemic inequality worldwide.

These facts give me righteous anger, and I believe my Savior Jesus Christ feels the same way.

Today, in a world that has made strides toward equality, the church remains behind. Women are still underpaid, undervalued, and prevented from fully stepping into their God-given call to lead, shepherd, and preach to His people.

Let me be clear. I am not a feminist, I am a realist. I love my husband, I cherish the gift of men (I am raising two of them), and I deeply honor my husband’s role as the leader of our household. My heart is not to erase men or replace them with women in charge.

My cry is for men and women to co-labor, side by side, fully honoring one another as partners in God’s mission.

The church flourishes when men and women stand side by side to co-reign, co-lead, co-shepherd, and co-teach God’s people. True kingdom leadership places people in roles that align with their Spirit-given gifts, never confined or diminished by gender. I deeply believe that was how God designed it in the Garden of Eden (Genesis 1:27–28), and that perfect plan was marred by sin.

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Addressing the Elephant in the Room

I have a mixed audience.

Some will read this who have zero understanding of why this is happening to women. Quite frankly, many stay away from the church because of this subjugation and more. I have physically talked to these people and have heard second-hand stories of more.

Then there are those who are very well-read, have theological schooling, and are in strong disagreement with me because they know what their Bibles say and are well studied on what seem to be the limiting passages of Scripture that prohibit women from preaching, leading, and pastoring (such as 1 Corinthians 14:34–35, 1 Timothy 2:11–12).

Then, I have the “in-betweeners” (not sure if that’s a word, but I am going with it). They have some education on the matter and are just not sure where they stand. Quite frankly, since they don’t feel a calling to pastor, teach, or lead, they bow out of the issue because they don’t have the time or the energy to study it out for themselves, or don’t feel deeply about it one way or another.

So, I have a wide spectrum of people who will read this. And wherever you fall on this line, I love you. I respect you. I honor you. I hope you can do the same for me.

I feel deeply passionate about this topic. Here is why.

Healthy churches need both a mother and a father actively speaking into their lives. When we limit the voice of women, we limit the fullness of God being represented in His children’s lives. It’s the same way in the home.

Marriage is meant to reflect the union of Christ and His bride (Ephesians 5:21–32). God designed it as a sacred partnership where husband and wife become one, honoring, loving, and submitting to one another. It is not about hierarchy or control, but about mutual devotion, where each seeks to outdo the other in humility and service (Philippians 2:3; Romans 12:10).

I believe we have vastly misunderstood the context and heart of God in the passages of Scripture that seem to limit the spiritual gifts of His daughters.

So after some time with the Lord this morning, I felt the green light to keep using my voice to speak out. It always costs me when I do so. Yet, it is worth it.

If even one woman feels seen, valued, and affirmed to keep using her God-given gifts, then I believe the Father is well pleased. Yet my greater prayer is this: that men and women in the local church would come together with humility and courage, engage in honest conversations, and commit to the change that is needed so women can freely co-lead, co-preach, and co-shepherd God’s people without the glass ceiling that continues to hold them back.

With love and deep prayer,